All You Need to Know About Personal Lubricants!
When people think about what their favorite sex toy is, the first one that comes to my mind is a personal lubricant. No batteries needed, no recharging port, no special handling. Just a few squeezes or pumps of a bottle and my sex life has already improved. I use it every time, whether by myself or with toys or with a partner or two… or three… but that’s another posting! And which one is my favorite? We’ll find out at the bottom of this article…
Personal lubricants are used for many different reasons: they keep things slippery and slidey and cut down on friction which can easily feel like a burning sensation. Many women think that a burning sensation may be a latex allergy when sometimes it can just be that they are either not using a lubricant or not applying enough during use. Using a lube at ANY age is a great idea because it keeps ya going for a long, worry-free, moist session. Also, too, approximately 25% of ALL drugs, both over-the-counter and prescription ones, can cause some sort of vaginal dryness and if you are taking an antihistamine to dry out mucus membranes in your nose, guess where else it will dry out? Yep. I wish the labels for those would say “If you are sexually active when taking this medication, please use a personal lubricant” but they don’t say that because they think you shouldn’t have sex with a runny nose!
Sometimes, women’s own natural lubrication that occurs upon sexual stimulation can vary even to the point of none being produced. This certainly doesn’t mean she’s not being turned on, it’s just that the production of lube can change during different times of the month as well as throughout her lifespan. For instance, a 20 year old might not need as much lube as a menopausal or peri-menopausal woman might (peri-menopause means she’s IN menopause which is a process that can happen over several years, ultimately resulting in post-menopause which is her not having her period for a year). What happens during menopause and the naturally occurring loss of estrogen, is that the vaginal walls will become thinner, thus possibly making penetration a little more painful and uncomfortable.
Many lubricants can be used therapeutically for women during menopause and after, too, and these women can simply apply about a quarter-sized amount onto their fingertips and swirl it around the vaginal walls in the morning and night. What will happen is that the lube will penetrate the vaginal walls and gently increase the moisture that the internal tissue will retain, thus making her much more comfortable even just during the day or when she is not necessarily being sexually active.
What a lube generally does is mimic a woman’s own lubrication. Women will tend to be more lubricated during ovulation, in the middle of her menstrual cycle, when her vaginal lubrication tends to “smooth out” and become more slippery. Why? To promote the sperm to swim up the canal to reach that magic egg because basically, all sex is intrinsically designed for procreation. So a slippery lube, like a water based lube or thin silicone lube, will lots of times be the closest to her own natural lubrication.
Adding a personal lubricant prior to sex (either internal penetration, self-sex, or external stimulation), can make for a much more pleasurable experience for her and her partner, too!
If her partner is a guy, how can it make it more comfortable for him? As I mentioned, it will significantly cut down on friction and dryness during penetration and not only that, if he’s wearing a condom, it will cut down on breakage, too. Here’s a trick one can do with lubricant and a condom. Applying a drop or two of lube in the reservoir tip of the condom will make the inside of the head slippery (again, cutting down on that pesky friction) which will increase his sensation and it also cuts down on breakage because most of the times, a condom will burst at the tip due to friction from the inside. Just drop a couple of drops — but not too many because you don’t want it to be too lubricated on the inside which will make the condom slip off. Carefully retain the lube in the tip when unrolling down the condom and you should be good to go. Maybe practice doing this before you REALLY have to.
So now we have some general info about lubes — now what about the differences between them?
There are several types of lubricants available, the most common types are water based and silicone based lubricants. I always get asked “Which is the best lubricant to use?” and reply “The one that works the best one for you.” It’s kind of like perfume: each body interacts differently to the lube and what might work for one person might not be a preference for someone else. If you’re not sure, buy several small bottles of lube and experiment with which one gives you the best feeling. Be sure to keep track of which one you are using or you may wind up with a table of small bottles of lube and not remember which one you liked the most!
If you happen to be in a bricks and mortar store, many offer testers of lubricants. The common way of testing lube is to apply a few drops on the back of your hand and rub in with the other index finger, however, this isn’t a good way to test the efficacy of a lube! A good way to test a lubricant is to make a fist with the index finger side of their fist pointing up, then drip a few drops of lubricant into the area made by their your index finger and thumb. Then place your other extended index finger in your fist and this will create a penetrative action that’s close to how you will actually use a lubricant! This will give you an idea of how slick it is with the added friction, how sticky (or not) it will get, and how long that slipperiness may last. It’s a much more accurate test than simply swabbing some on the back of your hand.
What are the differences between lubricants?
Water based lubricants enhance the body’s own lubrication as our bodies are water-based, too. The major ingredient in most lubes is water and glycerin, which is a sugar-based product. Water based lubricants MAY tend to dry out and become sticky and this is because the water gets absorbed or evaporates during use and leaves the glycerin residue which can sometimes get sticky. In this case, water can be added to rehydrate water based lubricants instead of adding more lube. It’s kind of like shampoo — in order to get more lather, add more water, not shampoo and having a water mister or sprayer available not only rehydrates the lube, it can be fun to use, too, especially during those hot summer nights and days.
For years, the belief was that women that are prone to FREQUENT yeast infections (happening more than several times a year), should stay away from glycerin based lubes. Turns out, glycerin is a sugar ALCOHOL and can only convert to a sugar when processed through the liver, hence the reason why diabetics need to watch their sugar intake. Last time I checked, my vagina is nowhere near my liver so using a glycerin based lube cannot trigger a yeast infection.
There was a survey that was recently released as to what was the most popular lubricant for married couples on the market today. The winner was Vaseline and when the couples were asked how they used it, they mentioned that they smeared it on their bedroom doorknobs to keep the kids out!
Silicone based lubricants have the properties of oil-based lubricant but are latex (condom) compatible. It does NOT contain any oil in it yet stays slippery even when used in water, such as in a hot tub or bath. It can be used as a slippery, non-sticky massage lotion as well.
The chemical make up of silicone lube is basically like little ball bearings that never stick to themselves. Unlike water based lubes, there is no water to dry out in silicone lube and no glycerin either, so it won’t dry up the way water based lubes do.
Many women and couples prefer silicone for its long lasting properties since it doesn’t dry out in use and a little goes a long way. Many people enjoy using silicone lubricant for anal penetration as it doesn’t require frequent replenishment and while some people might think silicone lubes are a bit expensive, not much is needed during use so the cost averages out to less than water based lube.
However, silicone lubricants will require washing off afterwards since it will not be absorbed by the body, much like a massage oil. Our bodies are water based and will absorb water based lubes much more easily but silicone has the properties of oil, so it’s probably best to wash it off afterwards. Also, be VERY CAREFUL where you’re using silicone lubricants as a few careless drips of the stuff on a smooth surface like bathroom tile, shower, or wood floor, will make you slip and fall like a cartoon character.
It had been recommended not to use silicone based lubricants with silicone toys as a chemical reaction may happen which may permanently damage the toy. However, many of the silicone lubricants and toys composed different kinds of formulas of silicone and when the chemical makeup is the SAME, the surface of the silicone toy can become sticky, even after washing. What happens is a chemical reaction and you’re completely unable to wash it off and now your favorite silicone toy now becomes a doggie chew toy.
The best way to check silicone toy/silicone lubricant compatibility is to place a couple of drops of lube onto a toy in an area that won’t be used, like on the base or on the underside of the toy. Leave the lube on it overnight, wipe it off in the morning, and if there is no sticky residue, then your silicone lube is fine with that toy. Easy!
Hybrid lubes are exactly that. These lubes are a blend of both water based and silicone based lubricants, combining the best properties of both. Hybrid lubes capture the long lasting benefit of a silicone lubricant yet are easy to clean up like a water based lube. These lubes are often creamy in texture and feel and are frequently referred to as “silk” in their names.
So keep in mind that the best lubricant is the one that works the best for YOU! Which one is my favorite? Personally, I’m a fan of water based lubes with a few hybrids there, too. I think silicone is a bit annoying to use as it stays everywhere it touches — fingers, bottle tops, skin, etc. and I can’t be bothered with having to do all that clean up. Don’t get me started about my dishes in the sink, either…
And if you want any recommendations or further information, please let me know in the comments below and I’ll be happy to discuss further with ya! Happy Lubing!